So much to be thankful for . . . so why am I so sad?

Every day I realize how very thankful I should be for all that God has given me. Every day, I see others who have difficulties of varying reasons: money, health, illness, etc., and deep down I know that I have much to be thankful for. My head tells me . . ."You're so blessed" and my heart says "I'm so sad." Do you experience this? If so, I would love to hear from you . . .

I think back on my mother . . . a sweet, quiet product of the late 20's, a housewife, submissive, the daughter of a Southern Baptist deacon who thought women didn't need education past high school . . . my sweet mother. I wonder if she went through what I am going through. In her 50's all her kids had fled the nest and she was left alone with my Daddy. My mother didn't drive and was very dependent for all that she was able to do. I don't ever remember her complaining . . . and now I wonder what was going through her head. I pray that I didn't hurt her feelings, make her feel alone or neglected, and I pray that I did all that I could to let her know how much I loved her. My mother . . . died from dementia in 2003 and I will never be able to tell her . . . all the things I want to tell her. My grief comes and goes . . . but I fear I will never get over the pain of losing my mother. I yearn for a close, loving relationship - free of judgment toward or from my own two daughters. I am forever putting my foot in my mouth and saying things I can't take back. I love my daughters and only pray that they love me as much as I loved my mother. I pray for a healthy, loving relationship with my husband, Rex. I pray for the feeling of acceptance and unconditional love. I also pray that God will show me what I am to learn about the sadness. God Bless you.